3 Insider Tips to Romancing Eastern European Women

Just what are Eastern European women like? Do they really live up to their reputation of being the ‘perfect woman?’ What should men know to find their Eastern European bride? Read on and learn from the guys who have been there and done it. They share not only the highs but also the lows of their experiences.

In the following memoirs, you will discover:

Introduction

Since time immemorial, men and women have sought out each other in order to establish mutual relationships of various kinds, from brief sexual encounters to life-long commitments.

The Internet has introduced a totally Eastern Women mode for these eternal human endeavors, i.e., ‘virtual’ meeting and dating, initially involving Western men seeking women from their same cities/countries, but subsequently expanding across international borders, and a significant part now involves women from the various states of the former Soviet Union countries, the East.

We are “the brotherhood of men,” a close-knit tribe of Western men on the journey to find our Eastern European bride. In our Memoirs we summarize the experiences and opinions accumulated over a collective century of experiences dating Slavic women from the former Soviet Union. Our collection of 18 memoirs in this series are based on true stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly, of our “Brotherhood of men” that have chased and conquered beautiful, traditional Eastern European brides for over several decades.

We paint neither a rosy nor a black picture – we use colors as close to reality as permitted by our experiences, perceptions, and common sense, with no hidden agenda.  We wish neither to promote, nor discourage, relationships with Eastern European women, rather, just give you the truth, straight up. Are you curious what your chances of success with a Ukrainian woman will be? You can find out in minutes. Click here.

We hope that our direct experiences and opinions may benefit those of you readers who intend to follow the same path, full of surprises, potential joys, and possible grief for the unwary.

Our conclusions and advice obviously imply some unavoidable generalizations, and you should always be aware of their inherent limitations. Along with descriptions and explanations of the various aspects of this venture, we also try to offer you some sensible suggestions on each topic. 

We are equally aware that for any single piece of advice – that is based on experience and/or common sense – there are a multitude of possible exceptions to the rule that may work equally well, though usually under exceptional circumstances. No rule fits all.

Our aim is to make you aware of what favorable – or unfavorable – odds you may be facing while following a particular course of action or line of thought in this endeavor. And to this end, we interspersed the memoir text with some colored signal flags as stop-pause-go suggestion markers: Danger – Warning – OK!

We are also including historical, geographical, psychological and socio- economic considerations concerning the former Soviet Union and its population – doing our best not to be too tedious, and also injecting some occasional humor.

The ultimate decision on the best course to follow should be based on your own independent and, we hope, well-pondered and carefully considered judgment.

A Whistle-Stop Tour of the History and Other Aspects of Dating Eastern European Women

So, before we get into the more detailed memoirs, let’s take a whistle-stop tour of some of the aspects of dating Eastern European women. 

A very brief history of “Mail Order Brides”

Mail order brides really took off in 1991 after the fall of the Soviet Union. [1] Economic uncertainty, gender imbalance and the lack of care and respect shown to Eastern European women by their men, amongst other things, made many women want to marry a foreigner. 

In the beginning of the mail order bride phenomenon, women married men they had never met in person. They may have communicated using letters, but there was an element of being objectified. Today, with the advent of more communication tools and a plethora of dating platforms, there are many more means of communication. Potential partners can now video chat as well as make phone calls.

These popular European dating sites put Western men and Eastern women together. Now it is common for the male to travel to her country and get to know her in person. It may take several trips before marriage bells can be heard. Western men have had to up their game as there are not as many females available these days due to several factors, such as a more favorable economic situation and Eastern European guys reshaping themselves. Would you like to know your real chances of marrying a Ukrainian woman? Click here and find out.

Different types of women can be found

There is a wide range of types of women in Eastern Europe. Firstly, there are different nationalities, including Slavic girls, Russian, Ukrainian and Polish girls, all of which have their own characteristics. Then there are personal differences between and within each country. All of them tend to be intelligent and well educated. Some take relationships seriously and are looking to settle down with a good man. Others are more liberated.

Women from every social class and occupation can be found on dating apps. Lots of them are actresses and models in the Nina Dobrev league. There are city girls wearing the trendiest fashions, all the way to professional businesswomen. Then there is the traditional village girl with all of her traditional values and natural beauty. So, there is a type for every man.

Eastern European dating culture

Eastern European dating culture is very different to Western dating culture. You need an awareness of this so you can get along smoothly with your, hopefully, future Slavic wife. And here is the first point. Eastern European women are not on the lookout for a casual relationship. What they really want is long-term relationships with reliable partners. 

Different dating customs mean one-night stands are uncommon. Eastern European women are on the lookout for a serious long-term relationship, not a casual fling. It might also mean that you share your date with other couples or members of their family. Don’t worry. That’s just how they do it.

The importance of family cannot be overemphasized for the Eastern European woman. You can expect to meet her family pretty early on in your relationship. She wants to see what her family thinks of you, and if you both have their blessings to continue in the relationship.

European dating culture means that dating couples are more formally dressed. So, you need to spruce yourself up a bit when you go out on a date. It’s also common to give gifts, so make sure you have a little something for her; she’s probably got a little gift for you, so don’t get caught out.

Coming from a more traditional culture of clearly defined gender roles, means she will expect the man to be decisive and take the lead. This will help her to respect you as a strong man. You need to plan some dates with a variety of activities as this is a part of their dating culture as well. That’s not to say you can’t take her for a romantic dinner somewhere at some point. [2] 

Why Are Western Men Seeking Eastern European Brides?

Why are men and women from such different countries of the world seeking, meeting and even marrying each other? Basically, this is the result of the different social, cultural and economic developments that came to pass in Western countries and in the former Soviet Union (former Soviet Union countries, including Estonia and other countries considered as ‘Northern European’ by the United Nations) [1] in the past century.

Western men

Starting in the early 1960s, the Western world underwent profound changes as a result of at least two movements: the Sexual Revolution and Feminism.

The feminist movement justly clamored for more equality between the sexes, and gradually obtained fairer treatment. As often happens in history, when a movement is eventually successful and most of its demands have been accepted, it may start pushing for yet more successes and become increasingly radical – and at times even ludicrous – in its demands.

Many Westerners, particularly American men, have been negatively impacted by the radical side of the feminist movement, and blame Western women for becoming less and less feminine, and increasingly masculine like the men they want to avoid. 

Subconscious comparisons with women of previous generations make them feel that Western women, especially American ladies, have taken on a different – and increasingly disagreeable – role in their inter-sexual relationships.

Western men often complain about these perceived traits in Western women:

• Physical appearance:
• Lack of taste in dress/make-up
• Overweight bodies
• Attitude:
• Excessive sense of entitlement
• Lack of social graces
• Aggressive sexuality
• Life goals/priorities:
• Career before family

It can be summed up as an attitude of selfishness causing disaffection in Western men.

Of course, not all Western women correspond to such a bleak description. Some Western men may even use the above stereotypes as excuses to justify their lack of dating success, at times the result of a chauvinistic male attitude no longer much tolerated nowadays.

However, rightly, or wrongly, these stereotypes have taken widespread hold in Western men’s minds. Therefore, it is not surprising that an increasing number of Western men, hopefully not suffering from the same problems, are turning their attention elsewhere to Eastern women when seeking a lifetime mate and companion. 

See also Be Honest: Why Are You Looking for a Woman in the former Soviet Union Countries? 

Needless to say, no one is perfect and has their own shortcomings, too. But we will look more deeply at this later.

Eastern women

The Eastern European world has also undergone profound changes, as a result of a longer series of much more dramatic upheavals:

• 1917: Soviet Revolution
• 1930s: Stalin’s purges
• 1941-45: World War II (some 10 million dead among the military, i.e., mostly men)
• 1985: Gorbachev’s reform attempts
• 1991: Dissolution of the Soviet Union
• 1991-99: Yeltsin’s chaotic management of the economy

For many years, particularly after Stalin’s death, Communism had given Russian people an often-hard life, coupled, however, with a strong sense of national pride and a measure of stability and security – free education and health care, jobs, cheap though often communal housing – the “from-the-cradle-to-the-grave” supervision of the Party.

The economic turmoil of the 1990s shattered all that, causing widespread existential and economic insecurity. Putin’s regime has partially corrected this in Russia, thanks mostly to its raw-material resources, but current and former Russians have a long memory, and many look at their future with skepticism, adopting a general attitude of worrying only about today’s needs – because “Who knows what tomorrow may bring…”

Eastern women often complain about these perceived traits in their male compatriots:

• Attitude
• Excessive sense of entitlement
• Infidelity
• Inclination towards heavy drinking, or worse forms of intoxication
• Domestic violence
• Life goals/priorities
• Caring more about themselves than their family
• Little concern for the future

It can be summed up as an attitude of selfishness causing insecurity in local Eastern women and a consequent aspiration to stability, both emotional and economic.

As in the case of Western men’s complaints, again, these stereotypes obviously do not apply to all Eastern European men.

However, an increasing number of Eastern women have been steadily turning their attention elsewhere, when seeking a lifetime mate and companion.

Needless to say, no one is perfect and Eastern women have their own shortcomings, too. 

We will look at this later.

Conclusions

Whether the complaints of Western men and Eastern women towards their opposite sex are exaggerated, or whether they both fail to come to terms with their respective realities, is really irrelevant at this point of our discussion.

The fact remains that, for real or imagined reasons, both seem to be mutually attracted to looking for a perfect match in a long-term relationship. They actively seek each other out, regardless of language barriers and the obvious inconveniences and difficulties of international dating.

How Do Western Men Choose an Eastern European Wife?

The criteria usually employed by Western men in their quest for Eastern women, and the latter’s differences, are based on age and consequent life experiences.

Western men

Possibly because sight carries farther than hearing, most men’s primary selection criteria are based on the beauty standards of a potential girlfriend.

Apparently, looks strike a very sensitive ancestral chord in men. The former Soviet Union countries offer some hot Eastern European women of all types, from gorgeous blondes to stunning brunettes to ravishing redheads. As you can see from Eastern women’s examples below, where their ages and their preferences for a Western man’s partner’s age are indicated. If you would like to know what a realistic age gap for you is, click here and find out in minutes.

Some Eastern Women Lookers

18 y.o. (seeks 20-45), 21 y.o. (seeks 30-45), 26 y.o. (seeks 25-50), 28 y.o. (seeks 30-60), 32 y.o. (seeks 30-54), 35 y.o. (seeks 40-50), 37 y.o. (seeks 45-55), 43 y.o. (seeks 45-60)

This may create the problem of the ‘child in a toy/candy shop’ syndrome. You’ll be seeing some of these female profiles again in the following memoirs, as proof of the possible dangers inherent in becoming fixated on looks alone. Always remember that ‘if it looks too good to be true’, it often is.   

Eastern women

Most scientists agree that our personalities are the result of the interaction of our genes and the environment in which we grow up. This is not a 50-50 combination and varies with each individual, but the effects of our family and society on our personal development are often decisive and apparent.

One of the first aspects to consider is that Eastern women are not homogeneous in their general Eastern women’s attitudes. Lithuanian women, Belarusian women, Romanian and Ukrainian ladies etc. are not all the same. This is despite the myths propagated by International Marriage Broker agencies and may also differ markedly based on age groups. They have experienced different stages of the former Soviet Union’s historical, educational and social changes, and therefore have formed a different basic mentality and unique personalities.

The following table is a gross generalization but may serve as a rough indicator of some basic differences.

Age group leadership period

• 35+ y.o. Soviet times (USSR) 1917-1985
• 30-35 y.o. Gorbachev (USSR) 1985-1991
• 25-30 y.o. Yeltsin (CIS) 1991-1999
• 18-25 y.o. Putin/Medvedev (Russia) 1999-present day

Obviously, early influences can be reduced and even replaced by others from later life experiences. However, depending on the individual Eastern women, traces may still be discernible to a greater or lesser extent, and help explain some Eastern women’s traits and attitudes. The following discussion about the former Soviet Union to date may help Western men to understand the circumstances that have shaped the Eastern female of today (and yesterday).

The Soviet Era

World War II – the Great Patriotic War, as they call it there – left for a long time a legacy of an unbalanced gender ratio in the former Soviet Union countries’ population, with more Eastern men than women due to war casualties.

Although this unbalance has been mostly redressed in more recent years, it may have left some lingering cultural effects on Eastern women’s family education and influence. This includes a rush for local women to get married at an early age to the right person (late teens to early twenties and being considered spinsters if not ‘settled’ by 30). This produced equally early divorces – comparatively easy to obtain – often with children being raised by a single parent.

The total dependence on the Communist Party for almost all life-affecting acts generated two attitudes:

• Trust only in the circle of immediate family and close friends
• Reliance on connections and gifts to circumvent bureaucratic obstacles.

Gorbachev and Yeltsin’s years

This period saw the gradual dissolution of the Soviet Union and its ruling Communist Party. Any knowledge of both is obtained by the Eastern women of this age group (25-35 y.o.) mostly through hearsay from parents/older relatives rather than direct experience. Then there was an opening to the West and the market economy (Gorbachev introduced Perestroika in 1986 and Glasnost in 1988, first free elections in 1989). They were managed, however, in a chaotic fashion under Yeltsin, with disastrous results in his attempts to introduce Western-style capitalism, particularly for the then slowly emerging middle class.

To quote what a ‘Russia Without Drugs’ member recollects hearing from his local Eastern women guide in 2001 about those times:

“Before there was only one type of bread in the store, you had to stand in line for 2 hours to get it, but everyone got their bread.

Afterwards, there were 20 different types of bread in the store, and there were no lines because nobody could afford them.”

Many banks where people had deposited their life savings, attracted by generous interest rates, defaulted, ruining their depositors (except for the wealthy oligarchs and mafia bosses) and engendering in many a subsequent tendency to:

• The hammer & sickle
• Put any savings under the mattress, preferably in foreign currencies like $. 
• Spend extra money whenever available, rather than saving it, or, if affordable, invest it in more ‘tangible’ and secure assets like gold and real estate, or durable items like quality furniture and clothing.
• Mistrust credit institutions, credit cards, etc.

In Eastern women from the previous age group (35+), this has often also fostered some heavy doubts about the Western approach to the economy – and about democracy, too – to the point of nostalgia for the quieter, albeit more somber, Soviet times, particularly. 

Mikhail Gorbachev

These have influenced only the younger generations of Eastern women, who are mostly still studying and not overly concerned with getting married – particularly to foreign men – regardless of whether they reside in Russia or in other former Soviet Union countries.

Thanks to its revenues from energy exports, the economic situation of Russia steadily improved, and money again flowed down slowly to middle-class levels, along with inflation: Moscow is considered one of the most expensive cities in the world.

Real affluence is mostly limited to a small circle of Russian men, who use it to enjoy an opulent lifestyle often involving a fast rotation of young, attractive Eastern women.

Vladimir Putin

Putin’s autocratic policies were seen as more in keeping with Russian traditions going all the way back to the Tsars, restoring a shaken national pride and returning Russia to a deserved level of international prestige and power.

This also means that Russian women from the previous age groups (30+ y.o.) may have recently felt less insecure about their conditions than was previously the case.

A different picture is presented by those former Soviet Union states that are not engaged in lucrative energy exports, like Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, etc. The situation in Ukraine is further complicated by the inhabitants of its eastern part considering themselves more Russian than Ukrainian.

Medvedev’s year

Dmitry Medvedev won the presidential election held in March 2008 with about 70% of the vote, his candidacy supported by his predecessor Vladimir Putin. Most political analysts consider this Putin’s protégé – and former Chairman of the giant Gazprom energy conglomerate – an expedient transitory solution until the Duma (Russian Parliament) approved a constitutional reform that allowed Putin to become Russia’s President again after Medvedev’s term in office was over.

Understandably, Medvedev has not done much to change Putin’s previous policies.

However, a factor that will have an influence on his time as Russia’s President – and the Eastern women living in it – is the recent Dmitry Medvedev.

The economic crisis that started in the USA in September 2008 affected former Soviet Union countries, too. It produced a possible partial return to the previous climate of insecurity.

Are You Man Enough to Catch an Eastern European Wife?

An obvious but important point that must be mentioned is that Eastern women are first and foremost women. Therefore, they cannot and should not be considered a heaven-sent opportunity for socially inept Western men with dating difficulties in their own home environments.

Gone are the days – if they ever existed at all – when waving a Western passport and a wad of Western currency could get you the attention – and affection – of a young, sexy Eastern woman to be rescued from her pitiful living conditions by a knight in apparently shining armor, as many IMBs still proclaim to this day.

Therefore, before you embark on this quest, you should perform a thorough self- analysis, and ask yourself if you possess the minimum personal, emotional, and financial resources to be successful. Courting an Eastern woman on dating websites is in many ways the same as courting a woman in your own country, but with the added complications and costs of long distances and a very different cultural background.

It takes a lot these days to nurture an international love interest. A man needs a lot of resources, both emotional and financial, to succeed on the international dating scene. 

Social and emotional resources

Social skills are the basis of a good relationship. If you don’t possess the ability to communicate well, you will find a problem trying to make a connection with any woman. You need to have good listening skills and be empathetic if you want to impress a woman. 

An awareness of cultural differences also needs to be addressed. Try to learn as much as possible about her culture and traditions, so you can understand her better. 

Your emotional IQ also needs to be well developed. You must be prepared and able to meet your future partner’s needs as well as your own. Otherwise, your partner will feel unloved and unwanted. An unfulfilled woman is unlikely to stick around. 

Shows of affection go a long way with any woman, but this is particularly true of Eastern European Women. They absolutely adore their man for being affectionate towards them. Make sure you know how to show affection. It can be as simple as a hug or holding hands. She will love you for it.

Financial resources

Needless to say, it takes a fair amount of financial commitment to see your new relationship blossom. You will need to make several trips to your lady’s country to get to know her and meet her family. That means a lot of needs to be spent on airfares, hotel bills and dining. Then there are the gifts for her and her family. 

Conclusions

Western men seeking an attractive Eastern woman partner still have a large pool of good candidates with serious intentions to choose from, although not in the same numbers as were available until 5-10 years ago due to slowly improving former Soviet Union countries’ economies. 

Eastern women still seek a level of security not yet universally available in their home countries. They need a partner to lead their family responsibly and to treat them with the respect they deserve as women.

In other words, the once ‘abundant’ supply of Eastern women interested in uprooting themselves, and in some cases their children, too, seem to be slowly but gradually dwindling.

Therefore, nowadays it may take a higher-quality Western man than before – in terms of social skills, status and capability to adequately support a family – to successfully convince an Eastern woman to take the momentous step of leaving her country, family, friends and career for him.

How Western Men Can Meet Eastern European Brides

How does one go about dating? Usually by tapping different ‘reservoirs’, sequentially or simultaneously depending on one’s age and circumstances, such as:

1. Play mates (no allusions to Playboy intended here)

2. Neighbors

3. Schoolmates

4. Workmates

5. Clubs/associations/events

6. Friends/acquaintances of friends

7. Chance encounters

8. Ads in Eastern Women’s Papers/magazines

9. Dating/marriage agencies

Most of the above are not available in the case of international dating, except for the last item. Online dating sites may help you find Ukrainian brides. Top dating sites showcase some hot Eastern European women, including Russian women, Belarusian women, Ukrainian ladies, Czech women, Romanian women, as well as charming ladies from Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania. 

The Internet has made available a potentially world-wide reservoir, which can be both:

• An advantage, in terms of available numbers and therefore statistical chances of success
• A disadvantage, in terms of differences in culture/mentality/language, associated costs, difficult direct contact, etc.

Some Eastern women of our successfully married members were lucky enough to stumble inadvertently upon items 6 and 7 above, i.e., they met their now spouses almost by chance while on business trips or vacations. Others met their perfect woman through introductions by mutual friends/acquaintances and were thus able to both see and at the same time communicate face-to-face immediately with their future partners-to-be. In some cases, it was ‘love at first sight’, in most others it was the possibility of getting a reasonably accurate ‘feeling’ for them that justified further pursuit.

A similar opportunity may present itself to single men working in such fields as education and the military, who can participate occasionally in exchange programs that involve former Soviet Union countries. If you fall into this category, do take advantage of the situation, you will also incur much lower expenses compared to going there on your own as a visitor or a tourist.

Incidentally, if you happen to be visiting the former Soviet Union countries for whatever reason, item 5 above could become a real possibility – i.e., you could take that opportunity to meet those many Eastern Women who have a propensity for culture and related events. 

For the majority, the only other viable alternative is that of relying on International Marriage Brokers (IMBs) – to use for convenience a term defined in the US IMBRA legislation. 

The results of a “brotherhood of men” Cross-Cultural Marriage Survey show that about 60% of the Eastern women who married Western men used this type of resource.

Although we shall lump them all together – free sites included – in our following discussions for reasons of brevity, there is a subtle distinction between the various categories underscored in the above definition, as far as contacts between Western men and Eastern women are concerned.

Basically, they fall under these types:

• International Marriage Broker: any corporation, individual, or legal entity, whether or not existing under the laws of the US, who charges fees for providing dating, matrimonial, matchmaking or social referrals or is otherwise facilitating communication between individuals.” [3]
• Dating agencies: put Western men and Eastern women in contact with each other, with no concern for the results of such contact.
• Marriage agencies: tend to prolong initial contacts with continued correspondence, gifts, trips, etc.

This has definite consequences on their respective modus operandi. We will see how to navigate these in PART 2. [4]

References

[1] https://mailorderbride.org

[2] https://www.expatspoland.com/eastern-european-dating-culture/

[3] https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/663713-proof-that-facebook-is-not-an-imb

[4] The Ultimate Slavic Brides Guide To Meet Ukrainian Women For Marriage – UkraineDating.ca